When did I start writing in a journal again? Well, just less than a week ago, actually. I started making a journal to prepare for Ramadan 2 weeks ago, (Ramadan will start this coming Saturday) however I then realized the content would be somewhat limited to Ramadan and my preparation towards it. In other words, it is a religious journal.
Suddenly the urge to have a real notebook to write anything under the sun again, came back. I feel it’s crucial to document the 50th year of my life, but doing it on the phone or computer would somehow limit the contents and the accessibility.
So I went to the small Tokyu Hands store in Jiyugaoka looking for a suitable notebook. There were all kinds of notebooks, planners and diaries in plain colours, pastel, leather bound, pvc and whatnots.
I had only found out recently that some people are so obsessed with brands. The newly released Traveler’s Notebook Tokyo Station leather cover went out of stock just after its launch even though it costs 4,000 yen. People had to queue and take numbers to enter the shop.
Some notebooks in Tokyu Hands were rather pretty but then the price did not really appeal to me. So, I went to a 100 yen shop near Toritsu Daigaku station. It’s called Casa.
There, I found a very plain brown-covered notebook just the right size to carry around in my handbag and I hope thick enough to last until my 50th birthday. Its plainness made it more attractive because that meant I would be able to personalize it and nobody else in the world would have a similar one.
I don’t really hate brands but I have never been keen on following other people’s fashion, trends or brands. I love being the unique me. Yeah, I’m vain in my own special way. 😄 So, I customised the notebook using washi tapes. I had already have a collection of washi tapes and stickers which I also bought from 100 yen shops.
As for the content, I don’t really write everything under the sun. I censor my own thoughts. I realized being truthful might hurt some people around me.
When I’m gone, or even when I’m still around, if people read this journal, I don’t want them to feel bad about themselves.
Whatever negative feelings I have about other people, I hope will be gone soon. I want to forgive people every moment of my life because I don’t know when my time will end. I wish other people will do the same for me.
The most important thing is, I want God’s mercy and forgiveness. If I don’t forgive other people, how could I expect forgiveness from Allah?